trust
–noun1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.2. confident expectation of something; hope....4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.
I have recently had my trust in someone tested, yet again. And it has failed the test, yet again. The initial time the trust was broken was years ago and over time I have tried to forgive and try to allow that trust to be regained.
How does one regain trust that has been lost?
Can lost trust be regained?
I have read many stories, articles, perspectives, opinions, and discussed with my best friends over many cocktails and the consenus is unanimous. Yes, no, sometimes, and it depends.
The biggest factor that seems to contribute to the ability to regain trust is the commitment to rebuilding that trust on the part of the person who broke the trust in the first place. The second biggest factor seems to be the willingness to forgive on the part of the person whose trust was broken.
It depends was a very popular response -- it depends .... on what happened? How often did it happen. How big of a deal was it? Was there regret, or remorse?
How do you regain the trust? If there is remorse on behalf of the trust-breaker; and a willingness to forgive on behalf of the trust-breakee, you have a good start. Then it takes a lot of time, honesty, communication and effort.
Strategies:
Say what you mean.
Do what you say you're going to do, actions speak much louder than words.
Follow through on your word (your verbal commitments).
Look out for the other's well being.
Think about how your actions may make the other person feel, hurt or hinder the other person and make conscious decisions on your actions.
Go out of your way to put in the effort to rebuild the trust.
Know that it is going to take time. Both must be committed to slowly rebuilding the trust.
One action that breaks the trust may require one hundred positive actions to rebuild it.
Communication, communication, communication. Honesty, honesty, honesty.
After many "innocent" incidences (there is always some explaination ...) that have happened, and a lack of effort - sadly, I believe that our trust is beyond repair. We need to be honest with each other and both commit to letting go and moving on.
How does one regain trust that has been lost?
Can lost trust be regained?
I have read many stories, articles, perspectives, opinions, and discussed with my best friends over many cocktails and the consenus is unanimous. Yes, no, sometimes, and it depends.
The biggest factor that seems to contribute to the ability to regain trust is the commitment to rebuilding that trust on the part of the person who broke the trust in the first place. The second biggest factor seems to be the willingness to forgive on the part of the person whose trust was broken.
It depends was a very popular response -- it depends .... on what happened? How often did it happen. How big of a deal was it? Was there regret, or remorse?
How do you regain the trust? If there is remorse on behalf of the trust-breaker; and a willingness to forgive on behalf of the trust-breakee, you have a good start. Then it takes a lot of time, honesty, communication and effort.
Strategies:
Say what you mean.
Do what you say you're going to do, actions speak much louder than words.
Follow through on your word (your verbal commitments).
Look out for the other's well being.
Think about how your actions may make the other person feel, hurt or hinder the other person and make conscious decisions on your actions.
Go out of your way to put in the effort to rebuild the trust.
Know that it is going to take time. Both must be committed to slowly rebuilding the trust.
One action that breaks the trust may require one hundred positive actions to rebuild it.
Communication, communication, communication. Honesty, honesty, honesty.
After many "innocent" incidences (there is always some explaination ...) that have happened, and a lack of effort - sadly, I believe that our trust is beyond repair. We need to be honest with each other and both commit to letting go and moving on.
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