In Search Of .... Motivation

The last few months have been tough to find the motivation I need in ..... life, in general.  It's been a tough couple of months.  I try to keep a smile on my face and be the good team player, but I've been struggling to be engaged in life. 


Things that have brought me pleasure in the past seem dull, boring, uninteresting. 
Things I have obsessed about in the past haven't even crossed my mind.

My passions in the past have been going to the gym 5+ days a week.  I'm lucky if I've gone five times in the last month.  I've gained weight, my clothes don't fit, I feel ugly ... and sadly I don't care.  Every day I know I need to go to the gym.  I need to go for a run.  I need to lift weights.  I need to go spinning.  I know it will make me feel better.  The endorphins are like a welcome, addictive drug ... but yet I'm not inspired. 

Hanging out with my friends has become a thing of the past.  I get home from work at night and I'm cold.  I get under the blanket on the sofa and I fall asleep.  I get home and I have no desire to even leave the house again.  I don't even want to take the dogs for a walk because it's too cold out.  This winter has been dreadful.  Days, upon weeks, upon nearly 3 months of COLD weather.  Barely a day over 40 ... nights in the low 20's.  I got the hell out of Wisconsin to get out of that weather, and the seasonal depression.  It NEEDS to get warm soon.  Saturday is finally forecasted for 60 degrees.  I hope that will take me out of my funk.  It's been TOO long since I have even remotely lived my life.  I have been miserable ... the warm weather needs to snap me out of it.

I talked to David tonight and told him I needed some motivation.  He gave me a great idea.  Get home from work, leave the car running ... take out the dogs, give 'em dinner, change clothes ... since the car is still running, I have to leave the house again ... why not just get into the nice warm car and go to the gym.  Brilliant David.  I will try that next week!  Thank you!! 

I think I also need to get back to the tanning bed.  Maybe a little vitamin d will do an ego good.  Maybe a week without a class, getting a little extra sleep and a better workout schedule and some sun will be good for me next week.